Thursday, December 5, 1974

Thursday, December 5, 1974

Vivi,

Do you remember when I met you in 2002?

I expressed my feelings…

I proposed to you to marry me.

You rejected me, even to talk.

You refused to even talk to me.

You reduced me to being unworthy of human status.

You reduced me due to my untouchable caste background.

You reduced me due to my dark-skin colour background.

You reduced me due to my subaltern background.

But still...

I travelled 4000 kilometers to see you.

You humiliated me.

You abused me in public.

Your mob abused me physically.

They removed my clothes in front of the police.

They called me "Dalit Bastard." How dare you love my girl?

They beat me in front of hundreds.

You abused me physically and psychologically.

You tore my heart into pieces.

My heart is bleeding for 20 years.

Days and months passed.

Years and decades passed.

How many years have passed since I met you?

How many memories did you have?

How many incidents occurred?

How many humiliations did I endure?

How many violent crimes occurred?

You reduced my human status.

Just like every Indian,

But I will never despise you.

Except loving you

Dimapur is a witness.

Pondicherry is witness

I can't tell you how much I love you.

Even though you humiliated me

Feelings never die.

They die when we die.

Dr.Suryaraju Mattimalla Why I Am Not Indian: The Untouchable Rejecting India's Citizenship