Memories

 

Memories

I am remembering my past.

What happened to my family?

When I was a kid,

I am remembering my past.

What happened to my family?

When I was a schoolboy,

I am remembering my past.

What happened to my family?

When I was a college boy,

I am remembering my past.

What happened to my family in my village?

I am remembering my past.

Why did my family leave my village at midnight?

Every memory is a memory of humiliation.

Our lives are lives of historical humiliation.

Why did it happen to my family?

How many times have I asked myself this question?

I am asking and asking myself.

Why did it happen to my family only?

I already knew the answer.

Caste is the reason.

Untouchability is the reason.

Why do they humiliate untouchables?

Why do they persecute untouchables?

From the cradle to the grave, there are numerous questions.

My father used to ask himself

Why us only?

What was our mistake?

Born as an untouchable is a mistake

He died without knowing what formal human equality meant.

He died like every untouchable in India without knowing formal human equality

It does not matter whether you are the president of India or not.

Or

IAS, IPS, Judge, Scholar, Theorist, Minister, businessman, multi-millionaire, and Member of Parliament

From your cradle to death, you are untouchable forever.

Our shadow is also impure.

Even our shadow brings humiliation.

Lifelong humiliation

Lifelong persecution

Lifelong suffering

Like Yazidis

Like transgender people,

Like sexual minorities,

But in our society,

Sexual minorities are far better off.

Because they are Hindus

Even sexual minorities practice caste and untouchability.

Even transgender women practice caste and untouchability.

I remembered my past with a Hindu transgender woman.

She belongs to the Hindu caste.

She used to call me "hey untouchable boy," so come here.

She understands what humiliation means to her Hindus.

But she can’t humiliate them.

She can’t beat them.

She has a choice.

The option of humiliating untouchables

Her Hindus used to pelt stones.

They used to humiliate her.

She used to humiliate my untouchables for their stones.

For their humiliating words,

I am remembering my past.

I am storing my memories for future generations.

We are historical human beings.

So history should not be forgotten.

So I am storing my historical memories for my future generation.

I walked with every humiliation on my back.

I walked through every persecution.

I walked with every bias I could muster.

I walked through every taboo.

I've been walking and walking until now.

I could not find redemption.

 "Untouchable lives are redemption-free lives without remorse from them.

I am remembering my past...

What is there in my past memories except persecution, humiliation, caste, untouchability, racism, and poverty?

Dr. Suryaraju Mattimalla, Author of "Why I Am Not Indian: The Untouchable Rejecting India's Citizenship" ,(https://www.amazon.de/-/en/Suryaraju-Mattimalla-ebook/dp/B09MDXFTY2/ref=sr_1_2?qid=1637756966&qsid=261-0591308-5553230&refinements=p_27%3ASuryaraju+Mattimalla&s=digital-text&sr=1-2&sres=B09MDZM1Q2%2CB09MDXFTY2&text=Suryaraju+Mattimalla)

Author of  “Dalit/Untouchable Anthology: Untouchable Lived Experiences” (https://www.amazon.de/-/en/Suryaraju-Mattimalla/dp/B09M5B7XVS/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Dalit%2FUntouchable+Anthology&qid=1638451224&sr=8-1)

Author of “An Intellectual History of Anti-Caste Philosophers in India: A Study on Babasaheb Dr.B.R.Ambedkar” (https://www.amazon.de/-/en/Suryaraju-Mattimalla/dp/B09M785T3S/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=An+intelectual+history+of+anti-caste+philosophers+in+indien%3A+A+study+on+Babasaheb+Dr.B.R.Ambedkar&qid=1638746824&sr=8-1)

Published poems by Dr.Suryaraju Mattimalla at My poetic side

 Blog: DALIT ACADEMIC MAFIA (https://dalitacademicmafia.blogspot.com),

Blog: TIGRAY GENOCIDE IN ETHIOPIA (dejazamtchnegussebezabih.blogspot.com),

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E-mail:suryarajumattimalla1977@gmail.com

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